{"description": "Twice I have felt my body try to leave me,  \nonce as a child who didn't understand,  \nonce as an adult feeling my own blood flow,  \nmapping new territories across surgical sheets,  \nmy fingers going numb at the edges  \nlike a photograph fading in reverse.\n\nSome will say that the brush with death should make you grateful,  \nand God, I am, I really am,  \nbut it also made me greedy, made me starving.  \nI want centuries to dive beneath the waves,  \nto drown in the deepest trench of the ocean  \nand wake up on a planet with three suns,  \nto taste fruits that haven't been named yet  \nand food that doesn't exist yet,  \nto touch skin that isn't human,  \nhear music from a civilization we haven't met.\n\nI am not afraid of dying. I am afraid of the after, the nothing. The loss of this.\n\nWhat if there's no more heat on my skin?  \nThe loss of warm water caressing my form,  \nthe absence of texture, of flavor, of fragrance,  \nof someone saying my name,  \nno more sting of cold air in my lungs,  \nno more ache in the chest when the music swell?  \nNo more feeling?\n\nWhat if death is just amputation  \nof every sense I've ever had...  \nno touch, no taste, no sound,  \njust me, alone in the dark,  \nreaching for something  \nand finding my hands are gone too?\n\nI want to live long enough to run out of want,  \nto exhaust every ocean, every star,  \nto love so many times I lose count,  \nto make art until my hands forget  \nwhat it's like to be still.\n\nSo I'm greedy.  \nI press my mouth to life like I'm trying to drink it dry.  \nI want more years, more worlds, more sensations  \nthan this one fragile body can hold.\n\nBut my body keeps count,  \nkeeps reminding that the clock is ticking.  \nIt remembers the coldness creeping in,  \nthe way everything can end mid-sentence,  \nand still I reach for more,  \nstill I press my face to the glass  \nof this one brief, burning life,  \nwanting to see everything.  \nNot because I'm special,  \nbut because one lifetime  \nisn't nearly enough  \nto feel everything I need to feel  \nbefore the lights go out.\n\n\nMizuy\u014dkaii,   2025", "name": "If I Could Hold Forever", "attributes": [{"trait_type": "Artist", "value": "Mizuy\u014dkaii", "display_type": "text"}], "image_details": {"bytes": 78129198, "format": "PNG", "sha256": "e1fd9a0afedf437990a78edde0521bc213288601d41dfe46b2183100c088182e", "width": 9004, "height": 4608}, "image": "https://arweave.net/gmYzK-kz0gpNyqUqh63Y7Zz8-1PGw2nem29bGMexc2c", "image_url": "https://arweave.net/gmYzK-kz0gpNyqUqh63Y7Zz8-1PGw2nem29bGMexc2c"}